4-17-2011

4-17-2011

We went to Tessa's house Saturday morning. Austin and her cousin C-Dubs were happy to see her. And she was happy to see them.



Then we loaded her up for the ride home. It was nice to have her in the house again. Her spirit is really missed when she's gone.

She really took a long look at her room. We changed it around, adding a computer hutch and replacing her bed with a futon.



She loved the idea of having a PC in her room. Here she's on the computer (surfing You Tube for Disney videos) with her happy momma alongside:



And when she got tired, Julie and Austin opened the futon and she was REALLY excited about that.

All in all, everything went well. She seemed happy to be home. She played on her computer and watched her videos. She ate pretty well.

When we took her back to her house, she hesitated to get out of the truck only briefly. It really wasn't too bad at all. We'll have her home again next weekend for Easter. I believe that after a few cycles of this, she'll understand that she'll come home to visit every few weeks. Then the whole thing should be easier on all concerned.

Hope you had a great weekend. Thanks for stoppin' by.

04-15-2011

04-15-2011

Tessa Jean

Since my last entry, Tessa is doing fine. She has gotten good reviews from the staff at the house. We call almost every night to check on her. And we have visited her twice each week.

Yesterday the house mother told us she took Tessa to the Dollar store and Tessa was fine. Until it was time to leave. She refused to go out the door. Eventually (after about 20 minutes) the house mother picked up a pack of gum. Bingo, that was what Tessa was holding out for. They paid for the gum and Tessa ~ voluntarily ~ left the store.

Tomorrow morning we'll bring her home for the first time since she moved. She will sleep over Saturday night and we'll take her back Sunday evening. We're hoping that she does OK. One fear we have is that she won't want to get out of our vehicle when we take her back to her new "home". We will have to see how that goes. The house mother thinks she'll be fine.

We will be very careful not to let her "backslide" with food or drink. No diet cokes at our house over the weekend (imagine me doing my Scarlett O'Hara imitation, all dramatic and stuff, back of my hand on my forehead, gasping, voice drenched with despair: "No diet coke! Oh, where will I go, what will I do?"). Like a closet alcoholic, maybe I'll hide some DCokes in the bushes.

Hey, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Julie and I are very excited to get our darling daughter home for a visit. Austin can't wait. And we're very proud of how well she's done.

***

My buddy Joe

Our IT consultant at work, Joe, has brain cancer. I had 'blogged about him previously. He visited us the other day. It was good to see him. We compared notes on cancer. He and his son had brought me a new PC and Joe was sharp as a tack, as usual. Yesterday I called his office and his Girl Friday said Joe's last scan showed the tumor was not growing and may in fact be shrinking. He's still getting chemo. This after brain surgery, radiation mixed with chemo... followed by blood clots and seizures. He's had a hell of a time, he's fought like hell, and he's got a lot of people rooting for him. All my best to Joe.

***

Century 'blog!

According to the right hand side of the page, this is my 100th 'blog entry! Who woulda thunk? I started this to chronicle my journey through cancer and the scope has gotten wider as time has gone on. I guess I've come to see this as kind of my open diary. I've been all over the map, subject wise, haven't I? I hope it's been at least somewhat interesting at times, but I'm sure some of it has been just one colossal bore, because that's what I think when I read back over it.

And I guess I was prolific: Last July I posted 37 entries! Sheesh, I do go on, don't I?

But I will tell you one thing: It's been therapeutic, cathartic, whatever you want to call it. For some reason it just helps to be able to express myself sometimes, I guess whether I think anyone reads it or not. And, I'm not sure how many people read it, but I do get some feedback from time to time, which is great and I appreciate it.

Originally I started this for a couple reasons. One was in case anyone else found themselves in a similar situation (cancer), I thought this may help them understand what to expect. The other was that I thought it would be easier to 'blog ONE time than call 30 people and tell them all the same story. The part about it being therapeutic was somewhat of an unexpected bonus.

I've always admired well written stories, books, screenplays, etc. and thought it might be fun to see what I could come up with myself. I think that the main thing for me to write something that's readable is that I have to be motivated. If I am motivated, I have a chance. With no motivation, it's very difficult for me to crank something out.

And, here's a crazy thing that motivated me: Julie and I will never have grandchildren. It is a goofy thing, but it occurs to me that when I'm gone, NO ONE will trace their ancestry back to me. No one will look at an old picture of me and say "I descended from HIM". Or, "that was my grandpa" or great grandfather, etc. (oh look, a biological clock kicking in a little late, at 53). I guess there's a part of me that would like to leave SOME record that I was around and document my life and my immediate family's life. But I'm not sure why.

***

Do you believe in God? Do you think there's an afterlife? If there's no afterlife, for people like Julie and I, our DNA has hit a dead end. In many ways, this is it. Strange to contemplate. And if your mind winds up there, next is what's it all about, this "life"? Just what was the point? That question was probably asked by cavemen and it's still being asked now.

I guess that could be another entire 'blog entry by itself. And that can bounce around in your head for a long time, especially when your daughter moves out and you start to see time passing at a blistering pace.

Or maybe I'm just crazy.

***

Thanks for riding with me, take care of yourselves, hope to see you soon.