Joe

02-19-2012

I just got back from a visitation.

My buddy Joe, our IT consultant at work, died Thursday morning from
brain cancer. He was diagnosed less than two years ago.



Joe fought the good fight. I did get a chance to visit with him after
he was diagnosed, and he also had been to our shop a couple times after
his surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation. I didn't think his outlook was
good based on what he had told me and how he looked. I don't know if
Joe knew the likely outcome or not but he always seemed positive when I
spoke to him.

After his initial surgery, I wrote him a letter and told him how much
I enjoyed working with him and how much he had taught me about PCs and
our specific software application. I told him I looked forward to working
with him again soon, even though as I wrote it I didn't know if we ever would
work together again or not. As it turned out, we did work together one last
time. On his last visit to our shop he told me he really appreciated me
writing the letter.

Joe was the kind of guy who did everything by the book. Invariably he
would come to work on my computer and I would have 12 or so windows open.
That used to drive him nuts! He would say "How is your accounting software
supposed to work when you have all those windows open?" And I always said,
"Hey, it's a computer. We paid good money for it, and I work it hard."

Joe was dealt a bad hand. I have no doubt that he did everything his
doctors told him to. The hand he was dealt was a loser.

It reminds me of something Lance Armstrong mentioned in his book - some
of the best people in the world get cancer. They do everything they can
to beat it. They do what their doctors tell them to. They have a positive
attitude. They work their asses off.

Their cancer will kill them anyway.

On the other hand, some very disagreeable people will get cancer. They
will ignore their doctor's best advice. They will do whatever they want.
They will have a negative attitude.

They will survive.

Cancer's not fair.

I am proud to have called Joe my friend, he was a great guy. He was 62.

His obituary is here.

The Greatest Shame of All

The Greatest Shame of All

or

Why I Can't Forgive bobby b

Back when I got married I disc jockeyed my own wedding.  I had tons of albums so
I just chose all the music and made a bunch of cassette tapes.  I rented a
P.A. system and slapped in a tape.   Every forty five minutes I or one of
my buddies would change the tape. 

In addition to the music I had, I bought a bunch of additional albums so I'd have all the
bases covered.  One of the new records  I bought was the debut album of a brilliant
new artist.   I remember looking at the picture on the back of the album.   Whit in a
bathing suit.  B-b-b-breathtaking!

She was so young, so beautiful and so talented.  All of America fell in love with her. 
And then we watched her grow up right before our eyes.  All her successes played out
before us.  All her failures too.  When someone grows up in the public eye
beginning at such a young age it seems like you know them in a way, even though a stranger
really can't. 

And I think somehow something about that person seems to belong to the public.  If you
are a fan, you  celebrate their successes and suffer a little bit when they falter.  At least many
of us do. 

And if you don't believe that then please explain all those magazines at the checkout stands.

So there she was, beloved by the public and on top of the world.  And then she married
him.  In retrospect that seems like it was the beginning of the end for her.

You could say he was a rascal or a playa' or whatever. To me he was just a dog.  And the
proof is in the pudding.  The other day she died, far too young.

To an outsider looking in he turned her on to something that ruined her life.  While maybe
to some extent he could control his substance abuse, she never could control hers. 

Where I come from you take care of the people you love.  He didn't take care of her.  He didn't
look out for her. He ruined her life and moved on to his next victim.  A dog. 

You can say its not fair for me to judge and you're probably right. All  I know is what I
observed from far, far away. Every individual is responsible for themselves in the end.  But
from time to time we all need a little help.  And we all deserve help from people who profess
to love us.   If they don't help I guess they only love themselves.

Maybe God will forgive him.  I can't.

My conscience says I shouldn't pass judgment on someone I don't know.  Go ahead and call
me on it. Ill just tell you "that's MY prerogative" .