My second cousin died last week, after a 3 year battle with cancer (leukemia, in this case). I only knew him from family reunions and didn't even know he was sick. He was 364 days older than me. He left behind a wife and 3 children.
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Tomorrow's Chemo Day, number 4.
I felt really good today. I mowed and trimmed the lawn, burned some yard clippings and an old picnic table we'd cut up. It was sunny and cool this morning. Then this afternoon it was overcast and cool. It was windy all day.
This afternoon I had a really nice bike ride, 26 miles. Funny but today the hills really didn't bother me at all and the wind didn't either. What a difference a couple days make!
I visited my father in law's grave in Millington.
I love to ride but sometimes I wish I had someone to ride with. Then today, something occurred to me. What if I had someone to ride with me but they couldn't keep up? Or, what if I had someone to ride with but I couldn't keep up with them? That might be a drag.
For me, so far, riding is a solitary pursuit. The thing about riding is that I'm alone with my thoughts. I can think through a problem I'm having or I can just not think at all, just keep mindlessly turning the pedals. Or I can concentrate on my riding technique, or on climbing a hill. Whatever I want to do, I do, because it's all mine.
And, I am only racing myself. There's no one to compare myself to, no one to compete against but myself.
Why do I ride? I've asked myself that question a million times. I ride because I feel good when I ride, I feel good after I ride, and I feel good thinking about my next ride. There are a ton of other explanations I could offer (physical fitness, endorphin release, setting / accomplishing goals) but it all boils down to how it makes me feel. Riding is its own reward. I dare you to find out for yourself.
When I first got back in the saddle 3 years ago, I really surprised myself by sticking with it. If I would find a reason NOT to ride one day, I'd beat myself up about backing out after-wards. It occurred to me that I could think of a million reasons to back out and it would be SO easy just to say, 'chuck it, I'm not going'. But if I took all that negative energy and turned it into positive energy by just turning the pedals, I could accomplish something.
15 years ago or so I used to run - a little bit - and it did wonders for me. But I got away from it and although I tried to go back, it never worked for me again. One problem I had was that I pulled a muscle high up on the back of my right leg one time and if I run, I have a problem with that. It gets so sore I can hardly walk. I imagine I must have partially torn a muscle or something and it doesn't bother me unless I push it a little too far. But oh, boy, if I do go too far, I pay dearly. So I gave up running.
I couldn't swim to save my life, so that's not an option.
I really don't like walking but I will do it if I have to. Last winter I walked at an inside track. Boring but effective.
Which brings me to riding. Low impact, anyone can do it, and you can make it whatever you want to make it. You can even make it no exercise at all, by pedaling a little bit and coasting a lot. And I see a lot of people doing just that. Hey, we're Americans, we want to have our cake and eat it too. Lots of it. Then we want to take a pill to make us skinny. We want to act like we are exercising, we buy a bike and pedal 1% of the time and coast the other 99% of the time. And then bitch because we're not losing weight or getting in shape. And then we're so stressed by all this that we need a chocolate donut. Or 2.
But if you get on the bike and slowly work your way up to some decent distances, and concentrate on slowly but surely eliminating the coasting... pretty soon you're actually EXERCISING. And hopefully enjoying it. So you might even keep doing it.
And it's not that hard, and it seems like a ride in the country. Because it is.
You can find bike trails or a country road or some nice side streets in the city. Personally, I don't feel like I want to spend half of my allotted time getting to the venue, so my ride starts when I pedal out of my garage. I have a lot of nice roads around here, and my preferred ride is a road bike, so paved roads it is.
The biggest challenge for me is the motorized vehicles I encounter. You meet all kinds of drivers.
Most people are very courteous. They may not like you on the road with them, but they do accommodate you, some only begrudgingly.
Next are the uninformed, distracted, or unaware. These people mean you no harm but don't understand the law or maybe don't realize how their driving endangers you.
Then we have the first class assholes. They would run you over for sport, then (if they were caught, they would never stop on their own) they would claim you pulled right out in their path and there was no way they could avoid you. There are not a lot of these people out there, but believe me, there are some. And since you don't know when you will encounter these people, you have to assume that every driver you encounter MIGHT fall in this category. Or you could get yourself killed.
These are sick, evil bastards. I have had people pass me at 60 or 65 miles per hour, probably 8" from my left ear. Not funny, not cute, just plain deadly. I truly believe that if they came back to confront me (after I flipped them off) I would physically assault them. I'm not like that. But for them I'd likely make an exception.
I have had my share of close encounters just as anyone who rides a lot has. Don't get me wrong, I'm well aware that there are bicyclists who don't obey the law, too. As usual, a few ruin it for everyone else.
I weigh under 200 pounds. I have a Styrofoam helmet. My bike weighs 15 or 20 pounds. I am no match for any motorized vehicle on the road. The law says motorists have to share the road with, and make accommodations for, bicyclists. They don't have to like it, they just have to do it.
I love to ride and I try to choose my roads carefully, for traffic, visibility, etc. There's nothing I can do about the idiot that might kill me but be vigilant, ride defensively, watch my mirror, and be prepared to dive into the ditch if I have to.
I won't give up the hobby I love because some people are idiots. But I do try to minimize my risk.
Tomorrow, Chemo Number 4. After that, only 2 more to go.
Thanks for checking in. Have a great week.
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