Diagnosis

Diagnosis

June 23, 2010

My wife works where I do, part time. Some weeks she works 3 days, some 1, some not at all. Since I have my diagnosis appt today, she stays at work and she goes with me .

Sister in law Sherri, citing privileges as my "Work Wife" goes with too. God bless her, she wants to come to the clinic with us. She feels like she has an "in" with the E, N, and T Dr. as he'd removed a blemish for her sometime during the Eisenhower administration, I think it was (just kidding. It was LBJ). Seriously, she wants to be there for her sister, and for me, too.

Julie and I go in for the bad news. I know it's bad news, no doubt about it. Sherri waits in the reception area.

The nurse removes my stitches and says the doctor will be in to talk to me. My throat is dry and the clock ticks away like a 2 ton sledgehammer. Then finally the doc walks in and examines my incision....come on, let me have it. Then he says "you have lymphoma".

After that, his lips are moving but I'm really not hearing anything. I ask him to repeat something. The doctor and I notice Julie is crying, and we try to reassure her. I do hear "non Hodgkins" and "treatable" but not much else. I tell Julie to go out and talk to Sherri. I thank the Dr. and wait to talk to his nurse to set up my appointment with the oncologist.

There's no denying one thing - I feel strangely relieved! I have a diagnosis and now I can move forward.

When I come out, Julie and Sherri are doing their best to bear up, but they are both obviously very upset. For me, after the initial blow, which I expected, I've rebounded somewhat and at this point I'm really just numb. We are standing under the canopy where cars drop people off and we're experiencing a rainstorm featuring the_mother of all thunder and lightning shows.

The whole afternoon is right out of a Hollywood script. Sherri hugs me and then we all get in our cars (we drove to work separately) and each make our phone calls. 20+ miles to home. My sister Marta convinces me not to tell my mom until after I talk to the oncologist. Her argument is that I won't even really know what the prognosis is and so rather than worry my mom, it would be better to wait.

As we drive home, the weather gets so bad we have to pull off the road. What a bleak day, through and through. When we finally get home, my niece Jori has our kids and her 3 kids (Jack, Hallie, and Cade) in the basement because there were tornado warnings.

Jori is upset and Hallie wants to know why. Jori won't tell her why and this upsets Hallie. Austin is playing with Jack but Austin, sensing trouble, is tense. Cade tells Julie she looks like she has pink eye. My nephew Bob (Jori's husband) comes over. We order out.

After Jori and her kids leave and Julie and our kids wander off to bed, Bob and I sit and watch a TIVO'd reality show, Deadliest Catch, which features Captain Phil's stroke (he subsequently dies from this, we already know). Discussing my cancer, Bob assures me 'we'll get through this'. Bob and Jori are always there for us.

As he prepares to leave, we exchange man hugs. I mention to Bob that what I'm dealing with is nothing new to him. He had a malignant skin growth removed recently and lost his mother at a young age to cancer. Bob goes home.

Our house is dark and silent.