I am anxious to get started on chemo. I am feeling good about my chances. I am not, by any means, down in the dumps. I am able to have a good time and have a laugh with friends and family. I hope I'm not projecting anything besides that.
I feel very lucky to have so much support from so many people. As I had mentioned before, it is a very humbling experience to find out that you have a lot of people who care about you and are on your side. At some point I question if I'm really worthy.
One thing that I've thought about quite a bit:
I DON'T FEEL SICK but I have cancer. The only time I will feel sick IS WHEN THEY TRY TO MAKE ME WELL.
Chew on that a minute.
My biggest frustration point right now is that I can't ride. That will be solved Monday, at least until chemo starts. I hope I don't get so sick with chemo that I am unable to ride. My cycling plans have been disrupted since my surgery. I wanted to complete some longer rides this summer but the oncologist said to make sure I didn't wear myself down and I would be afraid that an 80 or 100 mile ride might do just that.
It looks like longer rides will have to wait until next spring / summer. If that's the worst problem I have, then honestly, I have nothing to complain about.
The takeaway: I am in good spirits and (cautiously) optimistic.
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